We were swimming one morning when Gracie grew tired of playing a game that Andy had made up and only Andy was really enjoying. Gracie had patiently endured this game for quite a while and told her brother that she was not going to play anymore. Well, this picture pretty much sums up how Andy felt about Gracie's decision. He began to cry and whine for what seemed liked the hundredth time that day and I could feel my already frayed nerves beginning to snap.
Andy tends to be a "the glass is half empty" kind of guy, so we deal with this attitude often with him. Before I tell you the idea that God gave to me, let me describe how I had handled a similar situation earlier that morning...
The kids were playing on the porch when something didn't go Andy's way. He started crying, whining, and complaining (and very loudly I might add). I was trying to finish something in the house and was highly irritated that I was being interrupted again. I stomped my way to the porch, threw open the back door, and let my little darling know just what I thought about his attitude. Andy patiently endured my tirade, as he has wisely learned to do, said yes m'am at the appropriate times, and dried up his tears when the threat of a spanking was mentioned. Well, you can see how effective my strategy was because here we were dealing with it again just an hour later.
The Lord showed me that I was viewing this problem incorrectly. I just wanted the whining to stop. But what I had failed to see was that the whining and complaining were outward manifestations of a heart sick with sin. The problem with complaining is not that it is annoying, but that it's sin the eyes of God.
When we got back home from the pool that day, I had the kids listen to the story of the Israelites and how they complained against God in the wilderness (Numbers 21). God did not like their complaining and punished them by sending snakes to bite the people. (Gracie was a little concerned about this part of the story, but I assured her that God had different ways of teaching His people back then. Now we have the Bible and the Holy Spirit to teach us.) We talked about how God had provided all the people needed and still they complained and whined. We then read
Philippians 2:14
"Do everything without complaining and arguing."
I made sure the kids understood that complaining, arguing, and whining is sin.
One of the things God has been showing me is that when He asks us to rid our hearts of a sinful attitude, He always tells us what godly attitude we should replace it with. In this case, God wants our hearts to be rid of an attitude of complaint and instead full of an attitude of thankfulness.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
This is how I summarized all of this for my kids:
You will always face disappointment in life. And when you do, you have two choices...
Complain
or
Be Thankful
The new rule at our house is:
Complaining = Discipline
Because the Bible has clearly taught us that it is sin.
(When the kids choose this option, they are disciplined. After they are disciplined, we pray together and they ask Jesus to forgive them for choosing sin)
Thankfulness = Blessing
God will bless us when we choose to be obedient!
(The blessing is not anything that Todd and I give the kids. We explained to them that they would have to wait on the Lord and know that He will bless their life for their obedience.)
I usually have to help them find what there is to be thankful for in disappointing situations. In Andy's case at the swimming pool that day, I told him to be thankful that Gracie did play his game with him. She could have not played with him at all. I hope that one day I won't have to help them find reasons to be thankful in various situations. I want them to be able to do this for themselves as they mature.
This little lesson has been quite convicting for me as well. I realized that if I'm going to hold my children accountable to this godly standard, then I've got to hold myself to that standard as well.
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